I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
