is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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