I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
