FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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