Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I am midnight drunk by noon
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
