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I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize