I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
