bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
