you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
