Christians are straight up FREAKS
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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