It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
