I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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