you guys were way drunker than both of me
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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