Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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