we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
