69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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