..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
This house was built for laser tag.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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