I must be too annoying 4 u.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
