Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize