why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
