Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
