That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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