Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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