Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
