I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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