My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
