Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
