gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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