Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
