these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
