Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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