Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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