Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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