my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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