it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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