question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
