i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize