She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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