ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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