She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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