I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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