I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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