it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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