So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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