I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize