You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
