Betty ford says i'm here all night
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
