Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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