You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
