Yo dont text me then not text me
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
