my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
