so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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