It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize