I'm going to jail i love you
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
