Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
So much Jack, so little girl.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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