i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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