get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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