my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
