Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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