ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
