So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Even my vagina gasped.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
