I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Randomize
