i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
