this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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