Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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