how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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