she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
