Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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