I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
